Good morning Retro Gamerz!
This week’s newsletter has a bit more than usual. I added in some more original content that I hope you will like! I hope everyone has a great rest of their week and stays safe this 4th of July weekend!
And here’s to 30 more issues!
Chavy
This Week In Gaming
June 26th 1995: Donkey Kong Land was released for the GameBoy.
June 26th 2000: Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards was released for the N64.
June 26th 2000: Crystalis was released for the GameBoy Color.
June 26th 2001: Bloody Roar 3 was released for the PS2.
June 26th 2002: Mike Tyson Heavyweight Boxing was released for the Xbox.
June 26th 2002: Tetris Worlds was released for the GameCube.
June 26th 2003: Wario World was released for the GameCube.
June 26th 2005: Midnight Club 3: DUB Edition was released for the PSP.
June 26th 2006: MTX Mototrax was released for the PSP.
June 26th 2006: Naruto: Ultimate Ninja was released for the PS2.
June 26th 2006: Sudoku Gridmaster was released for the Nintendo DS.
June 26th 2007: Disney•Pixar Ratatouille was released for the Xbox 360, PS2,GameCube, Wii, Xbox, PSP, and Nintendo DS.
June 26th 2007: Final Fantasy was released for the PSP.
June 26th 2007: GRiMgRiMoiRe was released for the PS2.
June 26th 2007: Steel Horizon was released for the PSP.
June 26th 2007: Transformers: The Game was released for the Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, Wii, and PSP.
June 26th 2007: Traxxpad: Portable Studio was released for the PSP.
June 27th 2001: Alone in the Dark: The New Nightmare was released for the GameBoy Color.
June 27th 2001: WarJetz was released for the PS2 & PSX.
June 27th 2003: Medabots AX: Metabee Version & Rokusho version were released for the GameBoy Advance.
June 27th 2005: Meteos was released for the Nintendo DS.
June 27th 2006: Astonishia Story was released for the PSP.
June 27th 2006: Crusty Demons was released for the Xbox.
June 27th 2006: Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi: The Genie & the Amp was released for the Nintendo DS.
June 27th 2006: Micro Machines V4 was released for the PS2 & PSP.
June 27th 2006: Over G Fighters was released for the Xbox 360.
June 27th 2006: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest was released for the GameBoy Advance & Nintendo DS.
June 27th 2006: Ruff Trigger: The Vanocore Conspiracy was released for the PS2.
June 27th 2007: Nervous Brickdown was released for the Nintendo DS.
June 27th 2007: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Vegas was released for the PS3.
June 28th 1996: Road Rash was released for the SEGA Saturn.
June 28th 1999: Pokémon Pinball was released for the GameBoy Color.
June 28th 2000: Marvel vs. Capcom 2 was released for the Dreamcast.
June 28th 2000: Silver was released for the Dreamcast.
June 28th 2000: Street Fighter III: Double Impact was released for the Dreamcast.
June 28th 2000: Xtreme Sports was released for the GameBoy Color.
June 28th 2001: Hot Potato! was released for the GameBoy Advance.
June 28th 2004: Mega Man Battle Network 4: Blue Moon & Red Sun were released for the GameBoy Advance.
June 28th 2005: Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana was released for the PS2.
June 28th 2005: Dead to Rights: Reckoning was released for the PSP.
June 28th 2005: Fantastic 4 was released for the PS2, GameCube, Xbox, and GameBoy Advance.
June 28th 2005: KOF: Maximum Impact was released for the Xbox.
June 28th 2005: Riviera: The Promised Land was released for the GameBoy Advance.
June 28th 2005: Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory was released for the Nintendo DS.
June 28th 2006: Juiced: Eliminator was released for the PSP.
June 28th 2006: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Legend of Jack Sparrow was released for the PS2.
June 29th 1999: Bugs Bunny: Lost in Time was released for the PSX.
June 29th 1999: Command & Conquer was released for the N64.
June 29th 1999: Disney’s Tarzan was released for the PSX.
June 29th 1999: Rugrats: Scavenger Hunt was released for the N64.
June 29th 2000: Koudelka was released for the PSX.
June 29th 2004: Galactic Wrestling featuring Ultimate Muscle was released for the PS2.
June 29th 2004: Spider-Man 2 was released for the PS2, GameCube, & Xbox.
June 29th 2004: Yu-Gi-Oh!: Reshef of Destruction was released for the GameBoy Advance.
June 29th 2005: Mobile Suit Gundam: Gundam vs. Zeta Gundam was released for the PS2.
June 29th 2005: Former Nintendo president Hiroshi Yamauchi leaves Nintendo after becoming a member of the board due to old age. He retained %10 of Nintendo's stock, and when the Wii and Nintendo DS became so successful he became the third richest man in Japan because of it at almost $8 billion.
June 29th 2007: Cookie & Cream was released for the Nintendo DS.
June 30th 1997: StarFox 64 was released for the N64.
June 30th 1998: Grand Theft Auto was released for the PSX.
June 30th 1998: Off Road Challenge was released for the N64.
June 30th 1999: Driver was released for the PSX.
June 30th 1999: Pokémon Snap was released for the N64.
June 30th 1999: Quake II was released for the N64.
June 30th 2000: All-Star Baseball 2001 was released for the GameBoy Color.
June 30th 2000: Cyber Troopers Virtual On: Oratorio Tangram was released for the Dreamcast.
June 30th 2000: Disney•Pixar Toy Story 2: Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue! was released for the Dreamcast.
June 30th 2000: Evolution 2: Far off Promise was released for the Dreamcast.
June 30th 2000: Gold and Glory: The Road to El Dorado was released for the GameBoy Color.
June 30th 2001: Atari: Anniversary Edition was released for the Dreamcast.
June 30th 2002: ZooCube was released for the GameBoy Advance.
June 30th 2003: Pirates of the Caribbean was released for the Xbox.
June 30th 2003: SX Superstar was released for the GameCube.
June 30th 2003: The Simpsons: Road Rage was released for the GameBoy Advance.
June 30th 2006: Sudoku Mania was released for the Nintendo DS.
June 30th 2007: Rafa Nadal Tennis was released for the Nintendo DS.
July 1st 1991: Ghost Pilots was released for the NEO GEO.
July 1st 1991: King of the Monsters was released for the NEO GEO.
July 1st 1991: Magician Lord was released for the NEO GEO.
July 1st 1991: NAM-1975 was released for the NEO GEO.
July 1st 1991: Ninja Combat was released for the NEO GEO.
July 1st 1991: Riding Hero was released for the NEO GEO.
July 1st 1991: The Super Spy was released for the NEO GEO.
July 1st 1997: Disney's Hercules was released for the PSX.
July 1st 1997: Scud: The Disposable Assassin was released for the SEGA Saturn.
July 1st 1998: Pocket Fighter was released for the PSX.
July 1st 1998: Spice World was released for the PSX.
July 1st 1998: Tomba! was released for the PSX.
July 1st 2000: Army Men: Air Attack was released for the N64.
July 1st 2000: Digimon World was released for the PSX.
July 1st 2000: Railroad Tycoon II: Gold Edition was released for the Dreamcast.
July 1st 2003: Ape Escape 2 was released for the PS2.
July 1st 2003: Stuntman was released for the GameBoy Advance.
July 1st 2003: Summer Heat Beach Volleyball was released for the PS2.
July 2nd 2001: MX 2002 featuring Ricky Carmichael was released for the PS2.
July 2nd 2002: Bruce Lee: Quest of the Dragon was released for the Xbox.
Deadliest Warrior: Retro Video Game Edition
Spike TV is long gone (RIPIP MANswers). But one show I wish we could bring back is Deadliest Warrior. Now I don’t have the resources to pitch this to the Paramount+ big wigs. However I do have the time and crazy brain to revive it in this newsletter. What I don’t have in cheesy re-enactments I make up for with the little to no notoriety. Which allows me to do simulate these battles in word form and avoid the legal woes that the big wigs most certainly could not avoid.
So for the inaugural edition of Deadliest Warrior: Retro Video Game Edition we will see...
Scorpion from Mortal Kombat vs Crash Bandicoot from Crash Bandicoot!
Offense:
Scorpion:
Scorpion’s signature weapon is his Kunai Spear. Over the years he has mastered multiple weapons of the sharp variety. Starting with UMK3 where he threw in an axe slice for good measure during combos, to MK11 where he would slice and dice opponents with the Mugai Ryu sword. And if that isn’t deadly enough Scorpion has also mastered the element of fire! This deadly duo of offense makes Scorpion a tough outing for anyone!
Crash Bandicoot:
AKU AKU tested positive for EPO and will not be able to used by Crash in the Deadliest Warrior competition.
The Eastern Barred Bandicoot isn’t known for biting but you’d have to think in this situation Crash will definitely play dirty. Crash will also channel his natural instinct to throw his hind legs up (which are registered lethal weapons) and batter Scorpion.
Advantage: Scorpion
Defense:
Both warriors have the advantage of never actually dying (besides Scorpion’s OG death that turned him into Scorpion). Over the years we’ve seen Scorpion decapitated, ripped to shreds and flattened and he always manages to come back completely unscathed. The same can be said (in a lesser extent violence wise) for Crash. We’ve seen him fall off maps, eaten by animals, and drown but he comes back, ties his shoelaces a little tighter and goes for it.
We’ve ran the numbers and it’s virtually a deadlock. There’s no clear cut advantage for either warrior.
Advantage: TIE
Verdict:
After running the calculations in our patent pending simulator (which is definitely NOT using CAW’s in WWE 13) Scorpion left the arena with his hand raised in victory as Deadliest Warrior. The fight was more competitive than most would think, with Crash having Scorpion on the ropes multiple times. But Scorpion’s well versed training in weapons was the difference maker as Crash seemed immune to Scorpion’s fire attacks.
Who will step into the Deadliest Warrior arena next?
It Came From The Gram
Super Mario Bros Movie Update
Look I don’t lean one way or the other on the Super Mario Bros movie. I love the games and before reading this quote I would say with about 99.9% certainty that I wouldn’t be seeing this movie.
However the fact that they’re hyping up a new voice for Mario that’s “unlike anything we’ve ever heard in the Mario world” has piqued my curiosity. What accent/voice could they give Mario that’s never been done before? Here’s some reckless speculation.
Baltimore accent “Yo it’s me Mario! The Ravens are going to the bowl this year lock it in!”
Jersey Shore accent “Yo Pauly it’s a me Mario! We need to GTL before I go to Karma to find a Peach.”
Jon Taffer-esque voice “Luigi, you just cross contaminated by touching raw mushrooms then grabbing some shredded goomba! SHUT IT DOWN!”
British accent “Bruv it’s me Mario. Toad, I need 20 quid if you’s sending me to another bloody castle to rescue the Princess.”
Scranton PA accent “Bowser, mushrooms, Battlestar Galactica.”
Scranton PA accent part deux “Identity theft is not a joke Wario! Millions of families suffer every year!”
Regardless of what voice Pratt goes with I cannot wait to see the chaos unfold when this movie releases.
Mega Man’s 4 Star Son Verbally Commits To Ohio State
BREAKING NEWS out of Mega City. 4 star wide receiver recruit Mega Man Jr. son of Mega Man of Mega Man fame has committed to play football at Ohio State in 2024.
Rumors began to circulate in April when MMJ was spotted on campus.
Some have speculated that Ohio State’s science department worked around the clock for months to build state of the art robot gear for MMJ to woo him and his father Mega Man Sr. We at Retro Game Weekly were unable to confirm before our deadline.
Mega Man Jr will have his work cut out for him when he enters the horseshoe in 2 years. Some experts are predicting a mass exodus of other offspring of video game characters if this works out. Cloudee Strife (son of Final Fantasy character) had this to say about MMJ “He’s sticking his (robotic) neck out on the line for us. We’re all rooting for him to succeed so we can show our parents that there is a market for us to play and get paid outside of fictional colleges.”